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"The room was spinning, I couldn't stand the humiliating hell she wasputting me through, I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow mewhole.She took the top folder off the file and picked out a section near theback then began to read loudly from it."This is a statement taken under oath from a man called Donald who sayshe met you via an advertisement you put on a website called Craig'sList, there is a copy of that advertisement including photographstogether with the email with this man agreeing to meet him."My face was bright red now, oh god they knew that too, I'd only done itas a silly stupid whim. I began babbling interrupting her in my stupidsqueaky lisping voice."I, I didn't, I, I mean, I, I only did it for a, a joke, I,I didn'tmeet him, I, I didn't meet anyone, I didn't, I didn't, it w, was justsilly on line chat." If you'll let me continue."She looked at me acidly. "This is a sworn statement under oath fromDonald which says you met him, that you dressed as a girl for him. “Anything you want me to say when I give the toast at the reception?”“Nothing in particular. Just keep it PG, please. My grandparents will be there!”“I guess I’ll throw away the note Melanie just slipped me!”“Oh Lord!” he said, shaking his head. “Let me see!”“You know she’ll kill me for letting you see this, right?” I asked with a grin while handing him the note.He looked it over, shaking his head as he read.“She never stops, does she?” he chuckled, handing me the paper.I made a show of tearing it into eight pieces and dropping it in the trashcan.“There was NO WAY I was using any of those innuendos or double-entendres. The least outrageous one was the one about you giving up the free milk by buying the cow. She’s nuts, Pete!”“That does have its advantages!” he chuckled.“She’s been able to get you to step outside your comfort zone?” I asked.“Just a bit. I’m not you and can’t be you. But that’s OK.”The other groomsmen showed up a few minutes later - Pete’s brother, his cousin, a friend.
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